Lifestyle and Romance Writing

 This blog is a bit of a lifestyle post. I’m writing it from a single woman point of view, rather than a romance writer point of view. Or maybe both. I’m a romance author all the time.

To the lifestyle blog of it, here it is. 

Inspired by Lifetime Movies

I’m watching a movie. It’s a daytime movie. One that’s on channel 5 in the afternoons.

I love this kind of movie. They’re dramatic and predictable and easy to watch. Not to mention that crazy characters are hella fun to watch.

In this particular movie, there’s this one scene where the couple are sitting at the restaurant, it’s a pretty patio with twinkling lights, it’s late evening, and they’re on a date. The chick is crazy, but that’s not the point of this. The point is the crazy chick was wearing this cornflower blue dress. It’s low back, it’s v neck with spaghetti straps.

It’s a beautiful dress.

Evenings in London

The point is that it brings me back to nights in London, at the restaurant overlooking Tower Bridge. My favourite moments in my past.

Over the past few years, I’ve become a bit reclusive. Covid hasn’t helped. In some regards, I have improved. I’m more motivated, I’m trying to build my writing career and while I’m not at any risk of earning millions, it is currently the best it’s been.

But… I miss London. I miss wearing a pretty dress and sitting at a restaurant on the outside patio on a warm evening, eating ravioli and drinking wine. I miss having a cocktail and exploring the city.

I want to go again.

The crazy chick in the movie, sitting at the restaurant in the pretty dress, marked the moment I decided I wanted to get off my ass and find my motivation.

Lifestyle Change Please 

Currently, I’m unhealthy, and overweight which makes me lethargic and fatigued. I’m lazy and that doesn’t help the situation. I’m a little bit of a scruff-bag.

I don’t want that to be the case anymore. I don’t want to go to work, come home and never do anything. I want to write short stories and romance novels, and when I’m not writing to go outside.

I want to wear a pretty dress and sit at a restaurant on an outside patio on a warm evening, as I eat ravioli and drink wine. Now, though, I want it to be a dog-friendly one, so my furbaby can be there too.

Romance Writer Leaves the Cave 

My writing cave is super cute. It has a big bed, a big TV and it’s stocked with junk food and booze, but now, I feel like it’s time for me to step out of it. At least every now and then.

Maybe do some exercise. Eat some healthy food. Breathe some outside air. 

I need to be more active than I  have been! 

If you enjoyed this blog then take a look around and read some more. Or head on over to my author's website for book extras.

 

Expectations vs Reality of a Romance Author

 

Hands up if you thought being a romance author would be more romantic.

Visions of reclining on a chaise longue, sipping champagne and eating chocolates while the words flow out of me and onto the page may not have been quite accurate.

Misconception Number One: I’m a writer. I’m gonna be rich!

It’s hard to type when I’m laughing so hard at the hilarity of that thought. Rich…? Good one.

Hours at the laptop, hours on social media sharing posts and making connections, hours writing blogs and researching book marketing, and still no guarantee that the books will sell. You can do all the right things, and still be lucky to earn sixty pence a month.

There’s always the dream to be the lucky one. To be the one who will be discovered, the one who defies the odds of being a self-published author and makes millions, but the reality is – that more than likely – you will probably work a day job and write in the spare moments you scramble together between the responsibilities of your normal life.

Misconception Number Two: I’m a writer. I must be smart.

No.

What I am is a person who daydreams a lot. Sure, some of the things I write require research, but what that means is I google a lot of stuff and then promptly forget it as soon as the book or story is finished.

Any visions I had of swanning around with my hair in a chignon, smart-lady glasses and a pencil behind the ear, while I spout facts and answer any question asked has been replaced with a scruffy ponytail, finger-smudged lenses, and a confused expression on my face.

Misconception Number Three: I’m a writer. Nothing else matters.

Hmm… I like to eat food and have a roof over my head, so the day job is a little higher on my priority list. As is my family, my dog, my friends. I love writing, but I personally need time with all the people I love, and so I do give writing as much time as I can, but not at the cost of relationships.

I’m an introvert by nature. I’m mostly happy in my own company, and I’m lucky that pairs well with being a writer, but other things are important to my mental and physical health, and they definitely matter.

 Misconception Number Four: I’m a writer. I write every day.

As much time as I do spend writing, it’s not necessarily every single day. There are days where I work long shifts, or I go out, or I have other tasks of equal importance that need to be done. There are times where I just don’t want to, and though I can push through it, I don’t always do it, because if I make writing an ordeal, I won’t want to do it, and right now it’s an important part of my life.

I write often, but that doesn’t mean daily. I’m finding the balance important.

Misconception Number Five: I’m a writer. I don’t need to read.

Every book I read helps me develop as a writer. Whether I like the way it’s written, and the story told, or I don’t, there’s usually something to be taken from it. I feel like it seeps into my brain and lives there.

I’ve always been a reader. From my first book, I was hooked. Sometimes they’re rereads, sometimes they’re new, but I always have a shelf full of books, and I think I’m a better writer for every word I read.

 

Misconception Number Six: I’m a writer with rejections. I suck at this.

Or maybe not.

Every failed attempt at writing success doesn’t mean it wasn’t well written or a good story. What it means is that it’s hard to stand out in a mass of other works by equally ambitious writers.

I’ve been rejected a lot, because I’ve tried a lot. I remember a famous actor saying that for every success he gets six rejections. Sure, for me the ratio is tilted heavier toward the rejection side – one book I’ve written was rejected nearly thirty times before there was even a hint of someone showing interest – but rejection is a part of being a writer, and as I’m told often in rejections, writing is subjective. Just because one says no, doesn’t mean the next will. Keep trying. Your next attempt might be the yes you need.

 

 

 

 

 

April Fool's: Not For Me

Today is April Fool’s Day! I should probably play a prank on you but I’m not going to.

As someone who was bullied at school, pranks aren’t something I’m ever a fan off. I’ve had a lot of cruel tricks played on me that were passed off as a joke, meaning if I didn’t laugh along with them, then I was uptight or miserable.

 

But what’s so funny about humiliating someone or making them look like a fool? Is there anyone who really enjoys April Fool’s Day?

 

I’m not here to rain on anyone’s parade. If you’re in a social circle where this is something you like, then sure, go nuts, prank your friends, but otherwise my one piece of advice is to think before you trick.

 

Don’t go into it blindly, thinking that everyone will find it hilarious. Are you doing it for the right reason or is your motive a little meaner than you realise? Can the target of your prank handle everyone laughing at them or are you just tearing someone down who is already low. Are you in the right environment for the type of April Fool’s jest you’re planning?

 

Just think about it first. There was a time in my life where someone playing an April Fool’s joke on me would have torn me down, and even now I suspect I would wonder why the person chose me to trick? Because they don’t like me or because they think I’m fun?

 

Like I said, I’m no there to destroy the parts of the day people find fun. I’m just here to advise that you make sure you’re all on the same page.

Single Valentine

 Love Day is rolling around again!

As a single woman, this day, where all the social media streams and timelines are filled with the romantic gestures of those in love, it can be a tough one to get through. It’s no coincidence that singles awareness falls around the same time.

 

Supermarkets turn into florists. Their brand colours change to pink and red. It looks like cupid exploded. 

 

Well, I've been single a long time, so Valentines is generally a day that takes me by surprise, but as I always say, being single isn't so bad, and over time I've become really good at it. I sleep diagonally in bed, I eat what I want and mostly my time is my own, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the feel of another body in my bed. (Not counting the dog, no matter how much room she takes up.) It just means that to give up the things I love about being single will take someone special.

 

I’ve read a lot of articles that list the best reasons to be single and if I’m honest, they don’t always apply to me. Things like ‘spending time with your friends’ only works when they’re not in relationships which all of my friends are. ‘Having sex with anyone you want’ – well I’m too prudish to take advantage of that one. My reasons for being single are simple but honest. I don’t want to be with someone who makes me wish I was alone.

 

I’m not a bitter single woman. I’m a hopeful single woman. And I’m a patient single woman. I’m okay being by myself until I meet the one who changes that, and if that doesn’t happen, then I can honestly say, I’m pretty damn happy being single. 

New Year... Page One

 

Make goals or wing it?

Another new year begins and I've already decided not to make resolutions, but I haven't decided whether or not to set goals for myself. 

I'm not the best at sticking to them - I have a tendency to get distracted - but I really want to publish my first Accalia book and to finish Martha's story. Then I have all the shorter stories that I want to do. Should I do it by setting missions or should I just take it one story at a time? One page at a time?

Compromise

I guess I'll do both. I'll plot, I'll write. I'll aim to achieve. This is where my weakness in organisation is going to cause me problems. I have a head for chaos and it doesn't bode well for goal planning. I've got a brand-spanking new diary, so I can plan, but the one thing you can't take into accord is the number of words you can write. 

My word count is always random, so I'll plan what I can.

Winter Solstice

 Winter Solstice, or Yule as it’s also known, is one of the oldest winter celebrations and has been celebrated for thousands of years, all around the world, in a wide variety of traditions and rituals.

The Norsemen saw the sun as a wheel that changed the seasons, and in mid-winter they would light bonfires, tell stories and drink sweet ale. Now, the wheel represents the year of sabbats for wiccans, and Yule is deeply rooted in that cycle.

Throughout history, bonfires have been an integral part of the Winter Solstice celebrations as many believed bonfires would work at protecting by keeping dark spirits away. Others thought that firelight would guide the sun back to the sky.

In many traditions, Yule kicks of the wiccan new year. It falls on the shortest day, and during Winter Solstice, darkness reaches its peak, giving the longest night. It usually occurs on the 21^st of December, but it varies depending on location, and on the daily rotation of the Earth. This year it falls on the 21^st at, I think, about 3.58pm in the UK. It’s the sabbat where the Goddess gives birth to the Sun King and this fire festival is strongly linked with fertility and the continuation of life. It’s the time to reflect on the past year, and to think about what you hope for the next. It’s a fresh start. A chance to begin again. Cleansing your home will dust away the negativity of the previous year.

Oaks have been seen as sacred and the mistletoe is a symbol of life. Yule logs were set alight at one end, and it was believed by the Norse that each spark represented a piglet or calf to be born during the next year. Fire festivals, celebrating the rebirth of the Sun, held on the Winter's Solstice can be found throughout the ancient world. In fact, many pagan customs are still followed today, and are used in the Christian celebrations of Christmas.

 

End of Year

 New Year... Same old me...

We're advancing toward the end of another year, and I always like the start of the next. 

I have no plans to make any illogical resolutions to change myself, because I don't think I've ever kept one, but, maybe I'll resolve to read more books. That seems attainable. 

As far as life changes go, though, I feel like I'm on a pretty good track. I could eat healthier, I could exercise more, but that's true of every month of the year. 

What I do like about the New Year though, is that it's like a reset. A refresh. 

All the things that I've been working on, that I might be wobbling on, that might not be going as well as I want them to... It's not a resolution to continue trying, but it's a new start in a way. Rejuvenation. 

I like the refresh of January first. I like the new year.