Reality or the Dream?

 

When you have to pick one option, do you choose reality or the dream?

My day job has been more and more demanding, and it’s bringing to the forefront the skill of prioritising tasks and questioning my will to be a writer more and more.

Do I put my time into the job that actually brings in the money and pays my bills or do I risk it all and prioritise the dream? I’m not the first person to come up against these choices and I won’t be the last.

There have been times...

There have been times I’ve doubted that I have the skill. For example, earlier this year when the rejections were pouring in, for just a moment, I thought, ‘maybe I don’t have what it takes,’ but in the end, I’m a writer so even if I’m the only one who ever reads it, I’ll keep writing.

There have been times I’ve doubted that I have the will. Do I have the strength to persevere in the face of rejection and the lack of affirmations? Do I want to sit at my computer when I could be watching TV or hanging out with other people? Real people. Not just ones in my imagination.

There have been times I’ve doubted I have the energy. I don’t always want to be at work all day and then come home and write. Sometimes I want to get under my duvet and take a big nap.

There have been times I’ve doubted that I have the motivation. For instance, when I’m working to complete a writing project but others are calling out to me. Ideas nudging me to start something new.

The question is which do I prioritise? The day job or the dream?

How do you choose between reality or the dream? How do you choose which path to take? You go with your heart. At least that's what I'm doing, because there are some things in life that demand to be a part of you and there are parts of yourself you can't sacrifice no matter how hard it is to continue some days.

I choose...

I choose the dream. I’m throwing caution to the wind, and when a choice has to be made, I’m opting for writing. I can’t have these stories rampaging through my head with no way out. When the choice has to be made, when a career has to be chosen, when a dream is waiting to be chased then to hell with it.

I’m a writer first and I have stories to tell.

Writer with a Day Job

As the earnings from writing can be temperamental – sometimes I can go months without making any money – and call me crazy, I like to be able to afford food, it meant the first task in my forage outside of my writing cave was to find a day job.

Constant, reliable earnings work well as a buffer, and it’s taken the pressure off the desperation that comes with writing for money. Don’t get me wrong, writer is still my chosen career, but I found that when money was my focus, my imagination was blocked, and writing became impossible. The same with having limited time. It gives me a schedule to work to, rather than endless minutes of staring at a blank, white screen, wondering what to put on down followed by hours of procrastination and extra walks for the dog.

Now, I work in the mornings and then I go home in the afternoons and I view it like going to a second job. When I get home, I have some lunch and then I pull out my schedule of deadlines and promotion, and I’m free to work for the rest of the day. And here’s the beauty of being a single woman…It doesn’t matter if I write the night through because there’s no one to object.

Thus, it brings us to another benefit of having a day job while building a creative career. Getting out the house and interacting with people! I’m an introvert by nature and so hiding away in my house comes easily to me. What I find difficult is socialising. I could happily spend months watching Netflix in my pjs, with my laptop open in front of me, but that circles around to missing out on life, and I’m trying to change that.

Being creative means ambition looks different on us. We may no throw on a power suit, mix with professionals and climb our way up a corporate ladder. A lot of the time it means spending hours alone, creating, existing in our own imaginations, and then when we do step into the real world it can be jarring, but we are aiming for something. Just because we procrastinate doesn’t mean we’re not motivated. I’m ambitious. I want to be a writer, and I want to be a successful one. It is my career priority.

Which is why I look for the silver lining of not being able to spend my workday doing nothing but writing. It’s not a realistic possibility for me right now. I’m a single woman trying to get back on my feet after redundancy which means the reliable income personally gives me peace of mind. My natural state is solitude, and it’s a constant battle to stop myself from giving in and hiding away. It doesn’t mean I’m not motivated. I’m ambitious. I want to be a writer, and I want to be a successful one. It is my career priority, but until I hit the payload with writing, my day job is integral to my writing.