Reality or the Dream?

 

When you have to pick one option, do you choose reality or the dream?

My day job has been more and more demanding, and it’s bringing to the forefront the skill of prioritising tasks and questioning my will to be a writer more and more.

Do I put my time into the job that actually brings in the money and pays my bills or do I risk it all and prioritise the dream? I’m not the first person to come up against these choices and I won’t be the last.

There have been times...

There have been times I’ve doubted that I have the skill. For example, earlier this year when the rejections were pouring in, for just a moment, I thought, ‘maybe I don’t have what it takes,’ but in the end, I’m a writer so even if I’m the only one who ever reads it, I’ll keep writing.

There have been times I’ve doubted that I have the will. Do I have the strength to persevere in the face of rejection and the lack of affirmations? Do I want to sit at my computer when I could be watching TV or hanging out with other people? Real people. Not just ones in my imagination.

There have been times I’ve doubted I have the energy. I don’t always want to be at work all day and then come home and write. Sometimes I want to get under my duvet and take a big nap.

There have been times I’ve doubted that I have the motivation. For instance, when I’m working to complete a writing project but others are calling out to me. Ideas nudging me to start something new.

The question is which do I prioritise? The day job or the dream?

How do you choose between reality or the dream? How do you choose which path to take? You go with your heart. At least that's what I'm doing, because there are some things in life that demand to be a part of you and there are parts of yourself you can't sacrifice no matter how hard it is to continue some days.

I choose...

I choose the dream. I’m throwing caution to the wind, and when a choice has to be made, I’m opting for writing. I can’t have these stories rampaging through my head with no way out. When the choice has to be made, when a career has to be chosen, when a dream is waiting to be chased then to hell with it.

I’m a writer first and I have stories to tell.

Writer with a Day Job

As the earnings from writing can be temperamental – sometimes I can go months without making any money – and call me crazy, I like to be able to afford food, it meant the first task in my forage outside of my writing cave was to find a day job.

Constant, reliable earnings work well as a buffer, and it’s taken the pressure off the desperation that comes with writing for money. Don’t get me wrong, writer is still my chosen career, but I found that when money was my focus, my imagination was blocked, and writing became impossible. The same with having limited time. It gives me a schedule to work to, rather than endless minutes of staring at a blank, white screen, wondering what to put on down followed by hours of procrastination and extra walks for the dog.

Now, I work in the mornings and then I go home in the afternoons and I view it like going to a second job. When I get home, I have some lunch and then I pull out my schedule of deadlines and promotion, and I’m free to work for the rest of the day. And here’s the beauty of being a single woman…It doesn’t matter if I write the night through because there’s no one to object.

Thus, it brings us to another benefit of having a day job while building a creative career. Getting out the house and interacting with people! I’m an introvert by nature and so hiding away in my house comes easily to me. What I find difficult is socialising. I could happily spend months watching Netflix in my pjs, with my laptop open in front of me, but that circles around to missing out on life, and I’m trying to change that.

Being creative means ambition looks different on us. We may no throw on a power suit, mix with professionals and climb our way up a corporate ladder. A lot of the time it means spending hours alone, creating, existing in our own imaginations, and then when we do step into the real world it can be jarring, but we are aiming for something. Just because we procrastinate doesn’t mean we’re not motivated. I’m ambitious. I want to be a writer, and I want to be a successful one. It is my career priority.

Which is why I look for the silver lining of not being able to spend my workday doing nothing but writing. It’s not a realistic possibility for me right now. I’m a single woman trying to get back on my feet after redundancy which means the reliable income personally gives me peace of mind. My natural state is solitude, and it’s a constant battle to stop myself from giving in and hiding away. It doesn’t mean I’m not motivated. I’m ambitious. I want to be a writer, and I want to be a successful one. It is my career priority, but until I hit the payload with writing, my day job is integral to my writing.

Blue Skies, Black Mood

Without going into details, let's just say some problems have occurred at work. I'm in a situation where I need to fight for my basic entitlements of the workplace. The problem is I'm no warrior.

I'm always a person who shies away from confrontation, but unfortunately, in this instance it's not an option for me and it feels like I'm waging war.

Because it goes against the sense of peace, I need to be content in life, and because my workplace is becoming an intolerable environment to be in every day, it has stirred up a lot of issues with anxiety and depression.

This last week has been one of the hardest of my life. I've cried every time I've been alone and had free reign for my thoughts to wander, because my mind has only one destination, and it's the issue at work. I dread bedtime because that's when the anxiety comes creeping through my chest. I'm not in financial stability to just leave, and there's no support for those of us who are denied our basic employment rights. Companies like ACAS have given advice, but the first step, the waging of war, is down to me, and in a small company that's hard to do. I called Citizen's Advice Bureau, but after being told there was no support for me to leave the job, I couldn't talk for crying. The guy I was talking to couldn't get me off the phone quickly enough.

ACAS, CAB, DWP have all been very sympathetic to my plight, but inevitably it stands that to get what I'm entitled to, I have to do it alone.

But how does a person averse to confrontation do it?

Well, this I don't know. I can stand up for others against any foe, but it seems that for myself, I haven't found the courage.

I guess I'll have to dig deep and see what I have inside of me. I hope there isn't only cowardice there.

An Organised Writer

I recently had a discussion with a friend about organisation and deadlines. We both look at distant deadlines as things that don’t need to get started right away. If you’ve got two months to do it, then that means you don’t have to start yet. After all, two months is a long way off.

As someone who works a day job as well as trying to build my writing career in my free time, it means I usually have deadlines and projects coming at me from all angles, and the mountain of tasks culminates in the result that I usually want to take a big nap rather than start, but maybe procrastination isn’t the only answer. Step in, organisation!

Step One: Stay Calm

I’ve got a bajillion things to do. I don’t know which to start with, so I do little bits of each and nothing seems to get done. Argh! Okay, take a breath. There are only a finite number of workable hours in a day. I need to sleep and eat. I don’t have time to be overwhelmed, so step one is to stay calm. You have to take it one thing at a time, so don’t concentrate on the mountain, focus on the first step. Panicking doesn’t make it easier. It just adds to the stress. Remember: one thing at a time.

Step Two: Absolutely Not

Do you have time to take on anything else? No? Then say that! If you can’t handle anything else, if you don’t have the time, if it’s too much then say no. It’s worse to miss a deadline or a goal because you can’t fit it in than to tell them you can’t do it in the first place. Let them find someone else. Also, if there’s something you can delegate then pass it on to someone who has the time, and if you need help, ask. So focused on their own work, people aren’t always aware that you’re struggling, and if your way of telling them is ranting or crying, (like me) then it might be better to say it outright.

Step Three: What To-Do

To-do lists, baby. Is there anything better than striking an accomplishment off your to-do list? Write down everything you need to do, whether it’s that day, that week, overall, write it down, keep track, and scratch it off when it’s done. Item number one can be 'Write a to-do list' and then you've got your first accomplishment right there. 

Step Four: Prioritise

What is the most important? What will take the longest? What needs to be started right away? What has a strict deadline and what is scheduled for whenever you have the time? Look at your to do list and work out which tasks need to be done first. We’re taking it one item at a time so figure out what number one is.

Step Five: Keep a Diary

I’m not asking you to fill in a journal, unless that’s something you want to do, in which case, go ahead. These diary entries are about scheduling your time. Whether you record it in your phone, your computer, your email calendar, or like me, an actual diary. Make sure you’re keeping track of dates, appointments and deadlines.

Step Six: Setting a Goal

What do you want? Where do you want to reach? How are you going to get there? Set yourself a goal and then make a plan. Whether it’s a word count to hit, a date by which to accomplish something, a deadline; whatever you choose, make it realistic. Make sure it’s achievable. There’s nothing more disheartening than realising you’re not going to succeed because you were unrealistic about what you could do.

Step Seven: Organisation not Procrastination

I’m a big fan of being organised. It’s easy to pop along a social media site or to clean the oven, maybe rearrange your desk, or even write a blog post about writing; all with the plan of putting off your current WIP. For example, I am supposed to be tunnelling through a writing slump, but I scheduled in time to write this blog. As soon as it’s complete, though, I’ll be back at work. I plan my time using the methods I’ve already described: To-do lists, diary scheduling, reminders. I track my time. Organisation doesn’t come naturally to me so it’s something I have to work hard at.

Step Eight: Stay on Top of things

Try not to let yourself get overwhelmed, and don’t use the method that my friend and I are such fans of: A distant deadline with time to spare. It only takes falling behind on one thing for it to snowball and soon you’re sitting under an avalanche of work about to topple on top of you. Get things done when you can.

These are the tips I use to stay on track, but I want to reiterate step one. Stay calm. I know it’s easier said than done, and if you’re like me - prone to anxiety - when things go wrong then someone telling you to stay calm only makes things worse. The words ‘calm down’ have never made anyone calmer, but if you can go in with a cool, organised head, then maybe you can beat back the stress before it gets its talons in.

Happy organising. I hope these tips have helped you, even if in some small way. Now I’ve got a book to get back to.

Are all Writers Strange?

I blame the fact that I’m a writer for my stationery addiction.

Pens, pencils notebook, paperclips. There really are no restrictions to what I like, and one of my favourite times of year is when the stores get their Back to School range in. A trip to the supermarket doubles in time.

I have drawers full to bursting with supplies that well probably dry up before I ever get to use them, because even though, I’m constantly replenishing my stock of pens, I have this thing, a quirk if you’d like, where I use one writing utensil at a time.

If I’m working on one writing project, then I have one pen or pencil that I use through the whole piece of work until I finish either the book or the pen/pencil runs out. I also prefer to stick to two notebooks. One large for at home, one small for on the go.

It got me to wondering about quirks. How many writers have superstitions or habits that you follow when you’re writing? Are we all odd, or is it just me? Am I alone out here in my weirdness?

How do you do it?

Today I read a Facebook post about which words to use during a romance/erotica novel love scene, and now I’m curious. How many people follow rules when they write, and how many just put down what they want?

My own writing style stems from the kind of things I like to read. If I don’t like a word then I don’t use it, if there’s something I do like then that’s what I go with. The books I write or that I’m currently writing are the stories I want to read, and while I hope others read and enjoy them too, the main thing that drives me is that I enjoy writing them.

I’m not saying I don’t think about readers at all. Of course I do. I don’t want people to pay for my books only to not enjoy them, or to be irritated by bad grammar or grossed out by a word I’ve used. What I’m saying, is that I let my preferences lead me. I don’t follow strict rules.

I also think it’s a fact, that we’re influenced by stories we’ve read and loved. We all know what we like and what makes us cringe, but as everyone is different, it’s impossible to write something universal. 

Which is why I concentrate less on rules and more on what I want to read.

I think I just like the idea of knowing the rules and then doing what I want. What can I say, I'm a rebel!

That’s how I do it, though. I write what I like to read. I’m curious about how many others do the same, and how many have strict plans and outlines that they follow.

Still Writing

I know things are a bit crazy in the world right now. Let's be honest, 2020 is a strange one.

But one thing remains, writers are still writing, because we can't stop. It's a Saturday, I have a free day, so I'm watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer while I work on some romance stories. Nothing with vampires for me today, though.

My latest project is about wolf shifters and a human baker who just moved to town. There's romance, sex and bossy wolves who are determined to keep their heart safe. I'm also continuing with The Shadow Coven series, as Martha and Mason tell their story.

Stick with me for more sexy stories with a lot of love!